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Saturday, June 9, 2012

Mama Guilt

OK ladies, I want to talk about something serious today.

Mama guilt.
If you know what I'm talking about then you've been a mom for longer than 2 days. If you don't, then you're probably not a mom LOL!

For those that don't know what Mama guilt is, I'll explain. Mama guilt (as defined by yours truly ;) ) is the feeling that a mama gets that makes her feel like the worst mother in the world! What causes this feeling? It can be anything from not breastfeeding (yes guys, moms that have a desire to breastfeed feel extreme guilt if they are unable to) to wanting/needing to go on vacation without the kids (and for me this would include going to the store by myself! LOL)
 It, sadly, can also come from other moms! You know what I'm talking about ladies. When you make a decision (whether it be choosing NOT to breastfeed, working outside the home or whichever form of education you choose for your children) that another mom doesn't agree with and they give you that look. The look that says, "Well aren't you selfish!"
It can also come from a mom who doesn't intend to cast judgement upon another mom, but that is passionate about her choices. I have been guilty of this myself. And I feel horrible that I have caused a fellow mom to doubt her choices.
There are several blogs that I follow and look to for encouragement, and these women are very passionate about what they are writing. As a fellow writer, I understand that :)
But I read something today on a blog (and I will paraphrase) that said that if a mom chooses to have a career and work outside the home she is selling her children's souls. Because she is choosing money and satisfaction over raising her children herself. It also went on to say that when, said mom, faces God on judgment day; she would tell Him her accomplishments and He would admonish her that it came at the cost of her children's souls.
Talk about Mama guilt!!
Yes, I am planning to homeschool my children, but in the back of my mind I hope to go back to school one day.
I understand that this blogger was trying to encourage women to take their roles as "keepers of the home" (Titus 2:3-5) seriously, but she completely alienated those who also feel a calling to work.

I 'm not here today to decide whether she is right or wrong, and I won't try to persuade you otherwise. I only want to say that as moms we have got to stop making each other feel bad about our parenting choices!
You do what you feel (and have prayed about) is right for your family, and I'll do what I feel lead for mine! We were all created different with different talents and desires and our parenting choices will reflect that.
I also want to say that (most) choices are not permanent. So my choice to homeschool next year, is exactly that. To homeschool next year! Will I homeschool the next year? Who knows?! We may get into it and decide that we love it and couldn't imagine doing it any other way...or...I may get into it and say "What was I thinking?!" And would then PRAY about it and do something different the next year.

I guess what I'm getting at is, pray about the choices you make for your family. And then be proud of them! And of yourself!! You are a great mom, so get rid of the guilt and tell the devil what he can do with it!
Love,
Mrs. B

2 comments:

Annmarie Pipa said...

once I stopped worrying or even caring what others thought about me...my life got a whole lot happier.

Jaclyn Moses-Wells said...

Hey, I like going to the store sometimes by myself too! Lol, sometimes I know that it would take longer to get the kids out and into the car than it would be for me to run in by myself to grab the milk.