Mama Guilt

OK ladies, I want to talk about something serious today.

Mama guilt.
If you know what I'm talking about then you've been a mom for longer than 2 days. If you don't, then you're probably not a mom LOL!

For those that don't know what Mama guilt is, I'll explain. Mama guilt (as defined by yours truly ;) ) is the feeling that a mama gets that makes her feel like the worst mother in the world! What causes this feeling? It can be anything from not breastfeeding (yes guys, moms that have a desire to breastfeed feel extreme guilt if they are unable to) to wanting/needing to go on vacation without the kids (and for me this would include going to the store by myself! LOL)
 It, sadly, can also come from other moms! You know what I'm talking about ladies. When you make a decision (whether it be choosing NOT to breastfeed, working outside the home or whichever form of education you choose for your children) that another mom doesn't agree with and they give you that look. The look that says, "Well aren't you selfish!"
It can also come from a mom who doesn't intend to cast judgement upon another mom, but that is passionate about her choices. I have been guilty of this myself. And I feel horrible that I have caused a fellow mom to doubt her choices.
There are several blogs that I follow and look to for encouragement, and these women are very passionate about what they are writing. As a fellow writer, I understand that :)
But I read something today on a blog (and I will paraphrase) that said that if a mom chooses to have a career and work outside the home she is selling her children's souls. Because she is choosing money and satisfaction over raising her children herself. It also went on to say that when, said mom, faces God on judgment day; she would tell Him her accomplishments and He would admonish her that it came at the cost of her children's souls.
Talk about Mama guilt!!
Yes, I am planning to homeschool my children, but in the back of my mind I hope to go back to school one day.
I understand that this blogger was trying to encourage women to take their roles as "keepers of the home" (Titus 2:3-5) seriously, but she completely alienated those who also feel a calling to work.

I 'm not here today to decide whether she is right or wrong, and I won't try to persuade you otherwise. I only want to say that as moms we have got to stop making each other feel bad about our parenting choices!
You do what you feel (and have prayed about) is right for your family, and I'll do what I feel lead for mine! We were all created different with different talents and desires and our parenting choices will reflect that.
I also want to say that (most) choices are not permanent. So my choice to homeschool next year, is exactly that. To homeschool next year! Will I homeschool the next year? Who knows?! We may get into it and decide that we love it and couldn't imagine doing it any other way...or...I may get into it and say "What was I thinking?!" And would then PRAY about it and do something different the next year.

I guess what I'm getting at is, pray about the choices you make for your family. And then be proud of them! And of yourself!! You are a great mom, so get rid of the guilt and tell the devil what he can do with it!
Love,
Mrs. B

Not Backing Down!

The enemy has been on my case lately. He's practically made camp on my back porch. Whispering doubts in my ear to the point that the wall that I have been building was down. And then he attacked, loud and clear! And sadly, he used someone else's words to do it. Whether this person knew it or not, Satan was using him/her to break my spirit...and it worked.
By yesterday, the enemy's taunts were ringing in my ears and by this morning my reserve was gone. I was ready to be normal.
So I woke up this morning and begged God to give me....something. I didn't even know what to pray for. I was craving some sort of encouragement. I needed to know that what I have been doing is the right thing. Or would it matter if I slipped back in to being "normal"? I needed to hear from Him. But I got nothing...He was silent.
Discouraged, I got up, put on a pair of jean,s and let the boys watch whatever they wanted. This, to some, may not be a huge deal and to most probably sounds very trivial. But in our home this was pretty big.
Then I checked my facebook, and I found these words of encouragement from my wonderful husband ,

"I want you to know how proud I am to be married to such a Godly woman, a woman who can stand up for what she believes in, and a great mother and wife who shines Gods light in our home. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!"

And this from my pastor:
When you become tired and weary in the work of the Lord remember, "for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

I prayed a tearful thanksgiving to my Lord for using these men to lift me up when I was giving up.
So to the devil I say, "Go away! You are not welcome here! In the name of Jesus, you will leave my house not to return! I will keep being the woman God has called me to be. I will keep His standards for myself and my children, not yours or this worlds!"

On a side note, if anyone would like to know what I have decided in regard to the superhero issue. Bubba (new alias!) will be phasing out of secular superheros, and will be encouraged to look up to Bibleman and real life heroes. I am just not comfortable with him looking up to characters that go against God's standards.

Mrs. B

Comment Section Changes

So after some harassing comments from someone "anonymous". I have changed it to where you must be a registered user. If you have any questions on how to do this, please contact me through facebook. I am sorry that this has changed, but I will not allow me or my family to be harassed by someone that isn't brave enough to use their own name.
love,
Mrs. B

What I learned from having pink eye...

Exactly two weeks ago, today, I woke up with pink eye! I have NEVER had this in my life, so I was mortified!! It made me feel germy, ewww!!
So because of the dreaded PE, I had to throw away my current pair of contacts (what a pain b/c I only have one pair left!) and ALL of my eye make up. I was distraught! Anyone that knows me well, knows that I don't go ANYWHERE without my concealer (hello raccoon eyes!) , eyeliner, eye shadow and mascara - go ahead call me high maintenance! To this Mr. B replied, "So? What's that gonna cost? Like ?10 bucks?"
Oh Mr. B, who lives in boy land....what can I do with him?? I love him, but he had no idea! Mascara alone would cost $10!!
So since I am ever frugal and budget friendly (I refuse to call myself cheap), two weeks later, I still haven't bought any makeup :/
But I have learned a few things in the past two weeks that I would have never learned without getting the funk:

http//:www.hispanicvoice.wordpress.com

1.)Mr. B prefers me without makeup (big plus!!!)
2.)It's pretty nice to be able to spend a sweaty day outside and not worry that my makeup has slid down my face and that I now look like an extra from "Night of the Living Dead".
3.)My niece (who is a lover of makeup herself :)) said I looked "fresh faced"! I took it as a compliment :)
4.) I feel like I look younger??
5.)I don't really have raccoon eyes-they just look that way in comparison to the face I'm used to seeing in the mirror.
6.)That face that I was used to seeing...wasn't mine....
7.)God made me, so those freckles that I "have" to hide are there on purpose.
8.)Makeup can act as a mask. When I've been up all night with NKOTB, it's too easy to cover up the dark circles with concealer and when someone asks me how I'm doing to say, "fine!" When actually I'm exhausted beyond relief and could use a break.
9.) It's OK to not look perfect all the time. Flaws can be pretty too!
10.) I actually like myself without make up :)
11.) I wish I would have gotten pink eye years ago!!

http//:www.trend-setters.co.uk
Penelope Cruz-with and without makeup

Now don't get me wrong, I will probably go out and replace my makeup (maybe ha!). But at least I don't feel like I "have" to wear it, or I can't leave the house! It's very liberating to like myself just the way God made me.....freckles, dark circles, brown mousy hair and all :))

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To homeschool or not to homeschool that is the question...

As Super Kid (aka Travis)'s last week of school has come upon us, I have been scouring the Internet trying to decide what homeschool curriculum we will use for next year.

image by www.homeschoolprograms.biz

All of this year (Travis' first in K3) I have been an emotional wreck and have felt like I have missed out on so much! Which led me to the realm of homeschooling.
There are several reasons that I want to homeschool. The obvious being that, I get to see him all day. I get to see his face light up when he finally gets something we have been covering. I get to teach him to read-how cool is that?! The second is that, I was bullied/ picked on/messed with/ called names all the way through school. I still haven't figured out why, I never really thought I was that weird! But looking back I think it was because I was an easy target...and I know that now because I can see it in Travis. He is his mother's son. My boy is so sweet and tender hearted...and those mean kids will rip him to shreds! I don't want him to go through that (and I don't care what ANYONE says, it DOES NOT make you stronger!). If I can protect him from something, I will. The third, is that I will have control over what he is learning. I won't have to explain why the teacher says that dinosaurs lived millions of years ago, but according to Bible records it was really only about 6,000 years ago. I won't have to worry about other kids/teachers telling him stuff that I'm not ready for him to know (some states are suggesting -and teaching- sex ed in the third grade!)
All of this sounds really good, right? Like I'm thoroughly convinced that this is the right choice to make for our family?
If you think this, then you are WRONG...
Going through all of the curriculum and comparing the pros's and con's of each AND trying to decide which grade he should go into next year....k4 or k5?? I'm stumped for that one!
When I try to decide, I get an uneasy feeling...maybe it's just doubt.
It's been easy all year to dread dropping him off everyday-well 3 days a week anyway. And looking forward to him being home from now on. But I am terrified that I won't teach him the right things, that he won't learn to read....and it will be my fault!
Even though the easy thing would be to put him in public school and forgo all of this anxiety, I couldn't imagine not seeing him for 8+ hours a day....
I guess that's my answer, huh? We do what we have to do for our children...not what is easiest.
It's amazing how much insight I get just from writing all of this out.

So my question this time is for homeschool mamas! How did you choose your children's curriculum? And what in the world am I supposed to do k4 or k5? He will be 5 TWO days after public school's deadline for K, and he just finished k3....sigh...

The Heart of the Matter

Concerning previous posts, I have been accused of being judgemental, legalistic, harsh etc. This was never my intention in writing this blog. My intention was and still is to encourage Christian women in their walk with God. When I write about my personal convictions,  I try to stress the point that they are exactly that...personal. I put them on this blog for those who maybe have seen some changes in me-changes that God is making from the inside out, or for someone who is feeling the stir of conviction herself but needs some encouragement.
 Because let's face it- it's hard to be different! And it feels really good to find someone who agrees with you.
My convictions do come from God (because believe me, I wouldn't be putting myself through this for anyone else!), and I don't need justification from anyone. By asking for someone's opinion, I am simply reaching out. Why am I reaching out? Because making choices that go against mainstream (even mainstream Christianity) can be isolating.
Think about it...say God lays standards for entertainment on your heart (mine happen to be Philippians 4:8), and there is this movie that EVERYONE is going to see. BUT it goes against your standards...how do you feel? Alone?.....So do I...
I can guess that someone will accuse me of pitying myself for writing this or of calling myself a martyr. But that is not why I am writing this. I am writing this to apologize...to apologize to those that I have offended by my stance on certain subject. To those that I have pushed aside because they don't share my views. And to those that I have silently (or not so silently) admonished for having a different opinion.
I will continue to post blogs, but hopefully they will come across as more encouraging and less critical. But I do ask that you as a reader remember that I am a person, with feelings.
So here's to hoping that I have mended some bridges, and opened some hearts.
Please leave me some feedback, so that I know that SOMEONE read this. No admonishments please :)